HOW TO CATCH AN ALLIGATOR
Step One: Go Huntin', Shoot a Black bird. Â Alligators love black birds!
Step Two: Park your pick-up near the bank of the bayou and tie a very long rope to the bumper.
Step Three: Tie a very large and Manly hook to the rope.
Step Four: Hang the rope over a tree branch that hangs over the water so the bird hangs about one foot above the water.
Step Five: Have a good friend drive you home. Â Take a nap, and come back when the Alligator has swallowed the blackbird. Â The Alligator will realize he is in trouble, because he cannot swallow the bird and the rope. Â He will become scared, or at least mildly concerned, and perch himself on the bayou bottom awaiting his fate.
Step Six: Have your friend take his shotgun to the bank of the bayou and prepare to shoot the Gator.
Step Seven: Slowly pull the rope and the Gator from the water. Â When you see the Gator reach the surface of the water, yell "SHOOT!" (... poor gator ...)
Step Eight: Proudly mount the Alligator on the roof of your pick-up, and bring him home honking your horn loudly as you drive through town.
Step Nine: Clean the Gator and remove a five pound section of the tail. Â Use in this recipe.
Step Ten: Sell the Alligator hide to the highest bidding shoemaker.
PROCESS:
Dice the alligator meat into small chunks. Â Place in a large bowl with the rest of the ingredients. Â Put into freezer for twenty minutes (partially frozen meat grinds better). Â Run through a meat grinder and stuff into sausage casings. Â Tie the sausage off in seven-inch links with butcher's twine. Â Poke the sausages with a meat fork to allow air to escape. Â Poach the sausages in boiling water. Â Grill the sausages and serve on Manly buns with mustard and onions. Â Add sauerkraut if you have a hangover!
INGREDIENTS:
5 pounds Alligator tail meat
1/2 cup minced red bell pepper
1/2 cup sliced green onions
3 teaspoons Seafood Spice
2 eggs
1 tablespoon dry milk powder
1 teaspoon dried tarragon
Juice from two lemons
Pork casings